So I have decided, I need a break.
I need a break from being a mom, from being an employee from being a wife.
It is not that I no longer want any of these rolls or responsibilities it is that I think I have lost touch with myself.
I don't know who I am anymore, not that I ever really knew who I was.
But I feel lost.
I need to be on an island alone with nothing but my music, so if i want to lie in a dark room with headphones on cranking up Led Zeppelin I can without being interrupted and get lost in the music.
I guess it really means I just need a vacation alone.
You know I really want to be pampered. Here are my list of wants:
                       1. a pedicure/ manicure
                       2. get my hair done
                       3. a massage
                       4.  I want to drive 95 mph on a sunny day down a stretch of highway with my music cranked
                       5. I want to sit on a beach in the sun with a cold drink in my hand soaking up the rays.

But here's my deal.
When I do take a vacation I work on my house or something else because I feel guilty taking the time for myself. (what a catch 22) I mean I look around and see all the things that need to be done and it's overwhelming.